


Green With Envy

by SilenceIsGolden15



Series: Bad Things Happen Bingo 2k19 [25]
Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Bad Things Happen Bingo, Big Brother Shiro (Voltron), Concerned Keith (Voltron), Concerned Shiro (Voltron), Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Fluff and Angst, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, Jealousy, Prompt: Jealousy/Envy, Sad Pidge | Katie Holt, Sparring, Team as Family, Tickle Fights
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-17
Updated: 2020-07-17
Packaged: 2021-03-05 04:33:28
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,229
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25344733
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SilenceIsGolden15/pseuds/SilenceIsGolden15
Summary: Pidge still hasn't found Matt, and sometimes it all gets to be too much to handle.Good thing she isn't alone anymore.
Relationships: Keith & Pidge | Katie Holt, Keith & Shiro (Voltron), Pidge | Katie Holt & Shiro
Series: Bad Things Happen Bingo 2k19 [25]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1554010
Comments: 8
Kudos: 148
Collections: Bad Things Happen Bingo





	Green With Envy

**Author's Note:**

> One fic and counting, folks, one fic and counting.

Another day, another failure. Pidge sighed and rubbed her eyes. It was three in the morning, and another lead on her family had just resulted in another dead end. On nights like these it was hard not to fall into despair, but even as she closed her laptop in defeat, she told herself that she wasn’t giving up. Told that gremlin in her head that it wasn’t a surrender-- just a tactical retreat. 

_ You need your rest,  _ she told herself as she left the lab.  _ You can’t find them if you’re too tired to function.  _ Like Shiro always told her. 

Tired tears stung in her eyes, but Pidge stubbornly wiped them away as she staggered into her bunk. They had training at six, and she’d known that, but as usual the drive to find her brother and father overshadowed her logic. She would be going to training exhausted, but what else was new?

She set her laptop on the floor beside her bed, then unceremoniously collapsed onto the mattress, still fully clothed. Right before exhaustion dragged her under, Pidge registered exactly one coherent thought. 

_ I miss you, Matt.  _

* * *

Sparring days sucked. Sometimes Pidge was good at it, since she was small and hard to grab, but on days like today, she was sluggish and distracted by the weight on her chest, and it always resulted in new bruises for her ever growing collection. 

The last bout was Keith and Shiro. Pidge sat against the wall with Hunk and Lance, the latter bemoaning his sore muscles and the former verbally daydreaming about his next engineering project. 

Keith and Shiro stared each other down as Pidge stared past them. They were supposed to be watching and learning from every bout, but Pidge couldn’t focus on them. She was thinking about that video of Matt, and what part of it she could analyze next. Maybe the sound, she hadn’t gotten around to that yet. 

Back in the sparring ring, Keith was shifting on his feet while Shiro stood perfectly still. Shiro knew all of their individual weaknesses when it came to fighting and made sure to exploit them; Keith’s was lack of patience. 

Eventually, as usual, Keith couldn’t stand still anymore and took the first swing. Shiro sidestepped the blow easily. Keith tried again, and again, but both times Shiro dodged at the last second, then smirked and raised an eyebrow. 

“Having trouble keeping up, Keith?” he taunted. 

Keith paused, his eyes narrowing. Suddenly he dropped, swinging his leg in a sweeping kick. It didn’t take Shiro down, but he did stumble, which was all the opportunity Keith needed. He drove his shoulder into Shiro’s chest, the Black Paladin’s breath leaving his lungs with an, “Oof!” before the two of them toppled to the floor in a tangled mass of limbs. 

Shiro rolled, trapping Keith underneath his larger body, and Pidge didn’t need to see his face to know he was still smirking like a smug asshole. 

“Now what, hot shot?”

That was Keith’s other weakness-- he was so easy to rile up. Shiro never went too far with the goading, but it was still enough to get a reaction; Keith slammed his knee up into Shiro’s gut. Then he shoved up and to the side, flipping them over so that Keith was on top. 

Shiro grinned up at him. He had a mischievous glint in his eye, one that for some reason made Pidge catch her breath, then he reached up and danced his fingertips over Keith’s ribs. 

Unwilling laughter burst from Keith’s throat. He reared back, trying to grab one of Shiro’s hands, but Shiro rolled them again and doubled down on his tickle tactic. 

“Sh-shiro!” he gasped, kicking ineffectively at Shiro’s shins. “St-- Sto-o-p it! This isn’t-- isn’t fair--!”   
Lance and Hunk were laughing just as hard as Keith was. Lance was probably just enjoying the show-- if he’d attempted anything like that, Keith would’ve broken his nose. 

Pidge wasn’t laughing. She remembered when Matt would do that to her; sneak up behind her on the stairs, jabbing her in the side before making a run for it up the staircase. Forcing her out of bed before noon on a weekend by tickling her until they both fell off the bed. She remembered her cheeks aching from smiling too hard, stitches in her side from laughter, Matt’s sparkling eyes and wide grin. She remembered how she’d snatch his glasses from his nose to give herself an advantage. The same glasses that she wore now, watching Keith and Shiro roughhouse like she used to with her brother. 

Keith gave up trying to punch Shiro off of him and slapped his palm against the floor. “I give! I give!”

But Matt wasn’t smiling right now. He was out there, somewhere, alone and afraid and probably in pain. If he was even still alive. Pidge’s nails bit into her palms. 

“Would you two stop screwing around?” Her voice cut through the air, stopping all of the laughter dead, all of the smiles around her dropping in hurt, confused surprise. 

She didn’t care. How could they be so happy when Matt was still gone? It wasn’t  _ fair.  _

“Is that our next battle tactic? Tickle the Galra to death?”

“Jeez, Pidge,” Lance said. “They’re just having some fun.”

“No,” said Shiro as he stood up. He held out a hand to Keith and helped him to his feet. “Pidge is right. We should take training seriously.”

Keith was still panting and flushed, but his expression was solemn. “Yeah. Let’s go again.”

Shiro looked him up and down. “Do you need a break?”

Keith shook his head and tugged his gloves back into place. “No, I’m good. Let’s go.”

The two of them returned to their starting position: hands up, muscles primed, staring each other in the eye and waiting to see who would crack first. 

Pidge leaned back against the wall and crossed her arms. The churning in her stomach didn’t subside. If anything, it got worse as she sat there and brooded. 

What was she doing here? She should be out there, flying around the universe, searching, not resting until she found her brother. But instead she was here, watching Shiro and Keith have what she missed desperately. 

She bit her lip to hold in the tears, and the rest of training was just as she wanted it. 

Miserable. 

* * *

Pidge went right back to her room after training. She needed to pull the audio from the prison break video, run it through some screening programs, break it down to individual layers of sound, screen it some more, then tap into the Castle’s archives and--

A knock jolted her back to reality. She’d just finished changing out of her work out clothes-- hadn’t even touched her laptop yet, and already someone was bothering her. 

Storming over to the door, Pidge slammed her hand onto the reader and snarled, “What?” before even looking to see who it was. 

It was Shiro and Keith. Neither of them looked surprised by her foul mood. If anything they seemed to be expecting it. 

“Can we talk?” Shiro asked.

Her first instinct was to snap at them to leave her alone and let her get back to work. But as she looked between them, Shiro serious as the grave and Keith with just the slightest bit of concern on his face, all of her rage drained away. 

With a sigh, Pidge muttered, “Fine,” and turned to lead them into her bunk. She was a little ashamed of the mess, but who cared? It wasn’t like they were real soldiers. Shiro didn’t hand out demerits for messy rooms like a certain Garrison commander. 

“So,” she said as she sat down on her mattress. “What did you guys want to talk about?”

Shiro stood before her, front and center. Keith leaned against the back wall with his arms folded. 

“At training today,” Shiro said, and Pidge scowled at her lap. “You seemed… tense. Is there anything you want to talk about?”

“No,” she answered. Keith huffed in disbelief. 

“Obviously you’re pissed at us. Just tell us what we did wrong.”

Shiro said his name in reprimand while Pidge balled up her fists. All she’d wanted was some time alone to work this shit out, but Shiro was too kind to leave an upset teammate alone, and Keith never tolerated passive aggression. 

“I’m not pissed at you,” she grumbled, pointedly not looking up. “I’m just in a bad mood. Is that allowed?”

She said it as an instigation, but to her surprise neither Shiro or Keith rose to the challenge. Keith just studied her through narrowed eyes, and Shiro tilted his head in consideration. 

The silence lasted longer than it should have; it was too late by the time Pidge realized that Shiro was using the same trick on her that he’d used on Keith, and her skin was already crawling with awkwardness. 

“Damnit, fine. I was up late and I guess it made me grouchy. Happy?”

Shiro remained a paragon of patience. “And why were you up late?” he asked, even though he knew exactly why. Pidge rolled her eyes, which Keith caught. 

Bluntly, he asked, “Is this about Matt?”

Pidge’s breath unexpectedly stalled in her throat. For a reason she couldn’t comprehend the tears returned, burning white hot, and she ducked her head again to conceal them.

“So what if it is? Just because I agreed to stay on the team doesn’t mean I’m gonna forget about my brother!”

“No one’s asking you to do that,” Shiro said ever-so-calmly. “We just want to remind you that you don’t have to do it alone. You can talk to us.”

Pidge snorted at that, still refusing to look up. “Talk to who? You? You have your own shit to deal with.” 

There was a split second pause, then Keith said, “You can talk to me.” His voice was painfully quiet. “I know what it’s like, losing a brother.”

Pidge shook her head, squeezing her eyes shut to keep the tears from escaping as she spat, “Yeah, but you got him back!” 

The frown was audible in his voice when he answered, saying “Pidge,” but that was as far as he got before she cut him off. 

“You got your brother back, and I didn’t, and every day you two just have to rub it in my face! I get it, ok? You succeeded, and I failed, and I’m probably never going to see either of them again.”

This time it was Shiro who said her name, much more gently than Keith had, and she hated him for it. The way he said it only reminded her of Matt. 

“You haven’t failed,” he said. Pidge was clenching her fists so hard they shook. “Matt and your father are still out there somewhere. And you’re going to find them. I know you are.”

Pidge put her hands over her face. Deep down she knew she was being unfair, but she couldn’t acknowledge that. If she stopped being angry she’d crumble, and if she crumbled, Matt was doomed. 

Unfortunately, she just happened to be in the presence of the one other person who knew exactly what she was trying to do. 

“I was angry, too,” Keith murmured, barely audible. “When the Garrison tried to pass Kerberos off as pilot error, I was furious. I lashed out at everyone-- and you saw how that turned out.” She understood what he meant; Keith had wound up in a shack in the desert, miles away from any other person, chasing a feeling and clues on a cave wall. Like her, desperately hacking into Garrison servers in the middle of the night, listening to alien radio chatter on the Garrison roof-- and that was the last straw. 

Pidge burst into tears. 

She’d been holding it all in so hard, doing it all herself, alone, under the cover of darkness. No one else listened. No one else cared. Not even Mom. She had to run away and leave Katie Holt behind. And even now, over a year later, she still hadn’t found him. He was her best friend, and  _ fuck,  _ she missed her brother. She missed him so much. 

“Shit,” Keith hissed, and when Pidge peeked up at him, there was an alarmed look on his face. “I-- I didn’t-- I didn’t mean to make you cry!” His voice cracked on the last word, making Pidge chuckle through her tears. 

“It’s not you,” she said, wiping her tears away with the back of her hand. “I’m sorry. I just… I miss him. And sometimes, watching the two of you reminds me of him, and I guess I get… jealous.”

Another silence fell between them, this one unintentional. Shiro didn’t seem to know what to say, and Keith had his kicked puppy eyes on. 

Pidge just wanted to fold in on herself. She felt like she had the night of Sendak’s invasion, right after she’d completely ruined her conversation with Allura. Something she and Keith had in common-- they both had no idea how to not make fools of themselves in social situations. 

Keith stepped forward. His jaw was clenched in determination as he said, “You got that console to work, right?”

Pidge paused. That question was… unexpected. 

“Uh, yeah. It’s set up in the lounge.” Shiro and Keith exchanged a look, making Pidge narrow her eyes in suspicion. “... Why?”

Keith turned back to her with a new gleam in his eye. “Bet I can beat you at Killbot.”

For a moment, Pidge was too taken aback to come up with an answer. She should focus on her work, try to pin down some usable clues in that audio, but then again… could she really let a challenge like that stand? 

“You’re on.” 

* * *

Since they were in space and their technology was wack, it would take five minutes for the console to make it through its convoluted power sequence and actually turn on. While they waited, Pidge asked them, “Do you guys know how to play?”

Keith scoffed at her like the answer was obvious. Shiro shoved his shoulder before answering, “Yeah, Adam and I had one of these in our apartment. Cost a fortune to get online, but it was worth it.”

Keith chuckled to himself. “Definitely worth it to get your butt kicked by a thirteen-year-old.”

“Your high score was one point higher than mine,” Shiro argued back, doing nothing to dispel Keith’s smug expression. 

“It was still higher.”

While the two of them bickered, Pidge plugged in the controllers and navigated through the menus. As awesome as the game was, it did have one flaw: PvP mode only allowed two players. Which could only mean one thing. 

Championship. 

“Alright, you two,” she said. “Why don’t we see which one of you is actually better? You two play first, then the winner can face me.”

Shiro plopped himself down on the couch and picked up his controller without comment. Keith did the same, but with a raised eyebrow pointed in Pidge’s direction. “Why are you the champion?”

“Because I’m the one who spent an hour collecting coins in a fountain to buy the game, that’s why.”

“Technically Lance did that too,” Shiro pointed out, earning himself a stuck out tongue from Pidge as she took her position on the floor, where she could see both the screen and the players. 

“May the best brother win!”

The screen flashed with red letters: FIGHT! And the air was filled with the sound of clacking plastic buttons. 

As she’d predicted, Shiro played the game with composure, all of his movements quick and efficient, with possibly the smoothest button combos Pidge had ever seen. 

Keith played like he flew-- flat out and all in. He put his entire body into it, like hunching over the controller or throwing himself from side to side would help his character dodge more blows. Strangely enough, it seemed to be working for him. 

Keith let out a grunt of frustration. “Quit stunning me, asshole!”

“It’s a viable strategy!”

Keith snorted and bent low over the controller, biting his lip in concentration. 

Pidge looked back at the screen. They were neck and neck, both down to one life and with half full health bars. It was going to be close. 

Shiro bumped shoulders with Keith; not hard, but enough to throw him off balance. Keith shoved back twice as hard, furrowing his brow. Pidge caught Shiro’s smirk right before he took his hand off of his controller and stuck it right in front of Keith’s face. 

“Hey!” Keith smacked it down, but Shiro only laughed and held it up again. “Shiro! That’s cheating!”

“And what are you gonna do about it?” Shiro taunted. Keith growled at him and tried to shove his arm away, but in those few seconds of distraction, Shiro got his character across the screen, and dealt the fatal blow. 

“No!” cried Keith while Shiro cackled in triumph. “No fair, you cheated!”

Shiro shrugged, still grinning. “All is fair--”

Keith tackled him onto the couch, and Pidge realized that she was laughing, too. 

Shiro, while dodging Keith’s joking jabs, managed to gasp out, “Let Pidge decide!”

Keith sat up on his knees, put his hands on his hips, and fixed her with a pointed gaze. With some difficulty, Pidge smothered her giggles. 

“I dunno, Keith. Shiro has a point.”

He just shook his head in disappointment while Shiro crowed in victory. And just like before it brought up memories-- Matt hitting her with a red shell in Mario Kart, Pidge climbing on his back in retaliation-- but this time it didn’t make her feel like there was a pool of tar in her stomach. All she felt now was warm fondness, and a little bit of longing. 

“I hate this family,” Keith declared as he clambered off of Shiro. “I disown both of you.”

Before she or Shiro could retort the lounge doors slid open, admitting a very bemused Lance and Hunk.

“What’s with all the yelling?” Lance asked. “We could hear you on the bridge, Mullet.”

Keith crossed his arms and pouted, and Shiro smirked. 

“He’s just mad that I beat him at Killbot.”

“By cheating!” Keith blustered.

Lance laughed. Hunk gave him a disapproving look. “Don’t laugh, you always cheat.”

“You guys wanna play?” Pidge gestured to the controllers lying abandoned on the floor. “We’re having a tournament. Ultimate winner goes up against me.”

“You’re on!” exclaimed Lance immediately. He dashed over and scooped up one of the controllers; Hunk followed, though with some wariness. 

“Ok, but only if Lance doesn’t cheat.”

Keith huffed, his breath stirring his bangs. “Good luck with that.” 

Shiro hooked an arm around Keith’s neck and pulled him in to ruffle his hair. “Come on, Keith, lighten up.” 

Keith couldn’t keep up the act anymore-- a wide smile split his face, possibly the biggest Pidge had ever seen from him, and his hands came up to grasp at Shiro’s forearm, keeping it in place. 

“You’re going down, Hunk!”

“I know,” said Hunk glumly. 

Once again, Pidge found herself blinking away tears, but these were of a different kind. She would never stop looking for Matt, or for her dad. But until she found the brother she’d lost, there was no harm in loving the four that she’d found. 


End file.
